Spending Time With Enlightening Individuals

I have to say that on the work front of late, just about every encounter I’ve been having is a pleasant one. I guess it stems from the fact that more often than not, the other party and I are both looking at the bigger picture and a win/win situation for all involved. It’s a very different feeling to many encounters I’ve had in the past, where it was all too easy (and the norm) to go along with selfish intentions. Now it’s totally transformed – the ego has been removed, and there’s a feeling of being part of something intangible, like a team that's collaborating collectively without actually needing to physically work together. Whatever it is, it feels right, so I’m going to keep going with it!

INQUIRY: How do you feel when encountering new (and sometimes existing) people in your life, whether work or personal? What are your intentions before, during and after? And what do you think their intentions are? Or would you prefer to drop the judgment altogether and just “let them be?”

ACTION: Over the next seven days, get in tune with your intentions when in the company of others. Make a note of how of where you’re coming from, and how you feel it may impact the encounter. Are you and they looking for a win/win situation, or do you sense something altogether more selfish? What could you do to create more benefit and value in these encounters?

Law Of Attraction

This is a topic that’s been appearing more frequently of late and probably carries more weight than I previously gave it credit. And having left my investigative/analytical past behind, I’m not entirely sure what it all means. So … taking an open mind, I’m reading over some case studies while trying to get a grasp on the scientific evidence that backs it up, namely quantum physics of all things! Can’t say that’s my speciality subject, so we’ll just have to see what happens.

Other than that, it’s more-or-less making sense, explaining how the focus of our intentions and desires resonates throughout the universe, thus attracting and manifesting those very things. In other words, we tend more often than not to ‘get’ what we’re focusing on. A simple example is attracting the wrong kind of partner into our life time and time again, with the Law of Attraction explaining how this can be caused by focusing too much on the negative aspects rather than the positive – a case of “why do I always end up with people that hurt me?”

One solution is to stop taking the default option of carrying the same intentions and actions into each relationship – the expectancy of hurt and failure – and to switch attention to what it is we do want. That’s not to say this is an easy transition to make, it’s simply stating that a change in mindset is what’s needed. For some of us, that can become a journey in itself, because finding and fixing the root of the ‘problem’ is going to take more time and effort, yet reap far greater – and indeed longer term – reward. So many things can come into play here, namely clarity, confidence, courage, and not least of all the desire to change. Yet this is exactly the kind of challenge we need to develop ourselves and move on, otherwise we simply stay where we are and suffer ‘the same old story’ time and time again. One particular thing to bear in mind, however, is that when we aspire for something that is simply not right for our life, then it is very possible that that very thing may not manifest as expected. This might be perceived as guidance from the universe prompting us to look for something else in that area. Another thing that can happen is that we get what we wanted, only to discover we really didn’t want it. Again, this may be perceived as another form of guidance, whereupon it’s down to us to learn from such an experience and realign our focus on something more appropriate. This in itself is a topic ripe for discussion, and something I shall be posting on in the coming weeks.

INQUIRY: Have a look at what it is you’re attracting in your life, whether it be good, bad, or indifferent. Include as many areas of your life as you wish, especially relationships, financial, career, and personal. Which of your thoughts, words and deeds are encouraging these effects to manifest? What could you re-focus on to create a more positive effect?

ACTION: Think of something specific you’d like to achieve or attain within a month from today. The clearer you define your goal, the more likely you are to maintain a positive focus and achieve it. Grab a piece of paper and describe in detail what it looks like, feels like, and sounds like. Now list exactly what needs to happen for it to manifest as you would like. For example, if your current car is proving unreliable to the extent that it prevents you getting to and from your place of work without worry, then you could focus on attracting the right car into your life. The specifics could include manufacturer, model, engine size/type, mileage, full service history, less than five years old, safe, reliable, etc. Of course, with an example such as this, it is also important to look at whether or not the universe is prompting you to look at changing your place of work – this is something only you can decide for yourself. Similarly, you must be fair with regard to what you’re looking for, i.e. by all means push the boundaries of being realistic but not to the extent that you’re being absurd. If a £5k three-year old Astra with 75000 miles is the right car for you then focus on exactly that, rather than on a one-year old BMW for £20k.

Finally, keep this piece of paper with you and use it for focusing with every day. All the time, remember your worth whilst reminding yourself of the benefit and value you can create with this opportunity.

Welcome To The Rightlife Blog

Hi, and thank you for visiting!

I appreciate you stopping by and hope you find something of interest here.

Most of what you’re find is based around my work as a Self Development Coach … “What’s a Self Development Coach?” you may ask …

Well, it means I help people to better understand their lives and their potential by making transformations from the inside-out.

In other words, I help them become true to themselves, and in so doing, they work out for themselves what it is they really want and how they’re going to achieve it.

Now, you may well feel sceptical about that, and you’d have every right to do so – I respect that. But, look at it this way: If there is genuinely something in your life you’re not happy with, or something you want to change, or something you specifically want to achieve, then ask yourself this: “Can you do it by yourself?”

If your answer is Yes, ask yourself how you’re going to make that a reality.
If your answer is no, ask yourself if you’d rather have someone to work with; namely someone supporting you from the side; someone who will be your sounding board; someone who will help you all the way without judging, without interrupting and without offering any kind of advice.

If the latter is more your thing, then please visit my website: http://www.rightlifecoaching.co.uk/ and contact me.

I won’t bite, I won’t try to sell you anything, and I won’t hand out instructions on how you should be living your life.

In fact all I’ll do is listen … and if we "get on", perhaps we’ll agree to work together …

I look forward to hearing from you!

Best wishes

Simon

Life-State - What Is It?

Essentially our lifestate is the moment-to-moment strength we have when dealing with everyday life. One moment we can be up, the next we can be down. For example, let's say we're in a rush to reach somewhere important and hit some traffic - for many of us that means our lifestate becoming one of anger - then we glance across at an Aston Martin joining the lane next to us - envy - the phone rings and it's someone form work informing us a tricky problem has just been solved - relief - steadily the traffic begins to disperse and for a few moments we let ourselves feel almost happy - then the phone rings again - this time it's our partner telling us our child has fallen ill at school and needs picking up - once again, our lifestate is on the move, and so it continues moment by moment.

When - as with the example above - we allow our environment to control our lifestate, we invite all manner of consequences ... We become dictated to by events ... We become attached to outcomes ... We become dependant on externals. In other words, when things are going well we're "happy", or so we believe, but when things are going not so well we're "unhappy". And when things get really tough, what do we do then? Hide ourselves away by doing something we shouldn't? Perhaps we rush out and get drunk, start smoking again, have a fling, change jobs, give someone a piece of our mind, lash out, go on a spending spree, etc. Typically these are reactions, albeit some more spontaneous than others. That's not to say they're inherently wrong per se - that's down to each individual's circumstances - but neither does it say they're right. What it does say is that we're allowing ourselves to suffer when our lifestate is low and we're kidding ourselves that the only way to escape all this is by seeking happiness outside ourselves. In other words, we tell ourselves the best way to beat the bad stuff is to reach out and grab some good stuff. And so the cycle continues ...

What's the solution? To make the determination to strengthen our lifestate and win in every moment no matter what. We achieve this by making fundamental changes to our way of being from the inside out. It's no good changing our environment - that will only lead to greater dependance. Instead, we must make the change from within. Everything we need is there already - all we need do is tap into it and take ownership and responsibility for each moment of our life. Only then can we move forward with true spirit and determination. That's not to say it's easy. Far from it in most cases, but the benefits are exponential. We even begin to embrace challenges as opportunities for growth - that's when we really know we're winning!

There is no short-cut to achieving change as sustainable as this - it builds over time. Yet it begins with the determination to win. I started this very same journey back in 2004 and have created a module specific to helping create this change. It provides genuine insight into how we can cut through the negative habits and patterns in our life to create a far greater existence for ourselves and others. Contact me on simon@rightlifecoaching.co.uk for more information.

INQUIRY: Look back over the last few weeks (and months if you prefer) at all the incidents that have sent you reeling from one emotional state to another - both good and not so good. How did you cope with them? Did you let them dictate to you, or did you claim ownership and win no matter what? What could you have done better?

ACTION: For the next month, beware of when you're allowing your environment to control you. Watch out for when you let the negative side of things get you down, and for when you cling to something positive in the hope it will make you feel better. If you find yourself bouncing from one lifestate to another then make a note of it - this means you're making steps in the right direction. When you're ready, contact simon@rightlifecoaching.co.uk to learn how to build on this and create a lifestate strong enough to withstand all challenges.

How To Stop Being Judgmental Of People And Situations

Personally, I find this a really difficult habit to break, because it’s so easy to judge a person or situation when I’m unsure of what’s really happening, e.g. a friend doesn’t call when they say they will, someone you’re meeting doesn’t turn up and you’re unable to contact them, you make a negative assessment of someone (or a situation) based on third party information, and so on. How easy is it to slander like this? All too easy, I think, because it’s human nature. And we can let it escalate by casting our mind back over all the occasions when this same person or organisation disappointed us before. Yet, how do we really know what’s going on behind the scenes, or what that person is going through, etc? In most cases we can’t, so we make a guess, otherwise known as a judgment. And all too often these are negative and slanderous, yet they’re often dumbfounded.

INQUIRY: How do we go about transforming this? Is it a case of getting in the routine of recognising when you’re doing it, and stopping it before it continues, i.e. letting go of the judgment and getting on with things?

For the next seven days, make a determination not to judge people and situations. That doesn’t mean adopting a carefree attitude, instead it means either releasing the whole process altogether, or replacing it with compassion and understanding. Have a look at where the other party is coming from? What are they going through?

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Does The Universe Have A Life-Support System?

It’s been mentioned elsewhere on this site that we’re living in a world of decline, and it’s our fault, nobody else’s. By the way, that’s a collective “our” on behalf of humanity, not a finger-pointing exercise. And there is evidence that those who are standing up and making a difference, i.e. creating good causes, are the ones receiving great benefit and opportunity. Therefore, is it fair to accept the universe as having a life-support system that recognises these very actions, and actively supports and encourages those making them by “rewarding” them with manifesting good effects? In other words, it’s another take on the adage, “you reap what you sow.”

What do you think?

Sometimes It's Better To Admit You Just Don't Know

For years I was guilty of making out I knew more than I did. Sometimes it was a case of trying to impress, other times it was not wanting to admit I was wrong, and other times it was not wanting to appear ignorant about a topic or situation. Yet on just about every occassion I was perfectly aware of what I was doing but felt unable to prevent it. It felt as though I had to provide this 'cover' for fear of being found out. Yet all it was doing was compounding the issue by drawing attention to that very weakness. In worst-case scenarios it would lead me to fighting my corner even when I knew I was absolutely in the wrong, and with nothing to substantiate my argument with. All it did was create a layer of arrogance to paper over the insecurity, yet I did little to fix it.

It wasn't until four years ago when my partner at the time made it abundantly clear to me how irritating it was, that I decided it had to stop. Thankfully her words resonated enough for me to literally make the shift overnight. With immediacy I went from saying, "I know," to offering a curteous acknowledgement; and from making out I knew something I quite clearly didn't to offering something intuitive or simply admitting I really didn't know.

To begin with it was strange because it felt awkward to 'display' such a vulnerability. But over time, that in itself became the benefit because it was actually a relief not to have to pretend anymore. A self-imposed weight had been lifted from my shoulders and it felt great. I could even say it grounded me in a way. And ever since, I've noticed how many other people behave in exactly the same way. And guess what ... it irritates me too! But I also undertand where they're coming from because I was in that same place - that makes a difference.

INQUIRY: How often do you say "I know" when being 'corrected' by someone more knowledgeable who is just trying to help? How often do you try to make out you know or understand something when really you don't? How much awareness of this do you have, and how do you feel when it just blurts out?

ACTION: For the next seven days, do the following and notice how different you feel; instead of saying, "I know," when offered correct 'advice' by someone, acknowledge them; instead of coming up with a 'smart' reply or comment when pretending you know something, let go of the pretense and admit you just don't know. You may find it far more liberating than you thought ... and it will make a difference to the way you see yourself and the way others see you too.

Goals And Determinations - How Measurable Should They Be?

I’ve been wondering lately if goals and determinations are one and the same. Goals to me are something you aspire to achieve – or rather, you want to achieve – whereas determinations are something you will achieve. Perhaps it’s a mindset thing? Either way, I know in myself I’m very determined to achieve my goals, which may well mean they’re not one in the same, i.e. the level of determination you call upon defines the nature of achieving your goal? Perhaps that in itself is something of an answer, hmm?

Then there’s the difference between making your goal/determination general and specific. For example, let’s say you believe you’re worthy of a pay rise – do you say to yourself, “I want to be earning more money in a couple of months,” or do you say, “I am determined by July 22nd, to be offered a £500/month pay-rise as of August’s payroll.” Alternatively, are you one of those who says, “By August, I will be earning a salary commensurate with the effort I put in and the value I create?” Hmm, that last one may require some thought.

INQUIRY: List some of the goals and determinations you have in mind for the next week, month and year, (and beyond if you like). How measurable are they? How will you know when you’ve achieved or exceeded them? And what motivates you to achieve them?

BTW, the Japanese word for determination is “decision”. Have a think about how this impacts the process of achievement.

Letting Go Of Providing An Answer For Everything

This is one of those really irritating habits that appears all too often, both when we pretend to know the answer (feeding our ego), and when we think we’re being helpful but know deep down we’re probably better off keeping quiet (another ego thing).

It’s definitely something I’ve been guilty of for years, and am only now beginning to quash. And I have to say that when I recognise it appearing, I get greater satisfaction in either remaining quiet, or saying something along the lines of “I don’t know.”

There’ll be more added to this shortly …

INQUIRY: How many occasions can you think of when you provided an answer, knowing it wasn’t the right thing to do. Were they with your partner, a friend, a colleague, or even someone you barely new? What would you do differently next time? Would you share the moment with them by just listening? Would you openly tell them you didn’t know the answer? Or would you do something else?

Science vs Spirituality

Here’s a thought that struck me yesterday, even though it’s been on my mind for months: does science provide the basis for the existence of everything, and if so, where does that leave spirituality?

Although having an interest in most things spiritual, I do feel that science is still the bedrock of existence, if only as a blanket term for the explanation of everything. Therefore I see spirituality as a layer resting somewhere above science, interweaving all the time.

So I guess what I’m getting at is the question: “When we have a spiritual encounter or experience, are we labelling it spiritual because we don’t understand – or chose not to believe – that its foundation lies in science?” Or does spirituality function on a totally separate level independent of science altogether?

INQUIRY: How much of a spiritual person are you? How many spiritual encounters have you had? What influence or impact did they have on your life?

Analysing vs "Just Letting It Be"

I was on a course back in early May when I had the realisation that I no longer needed to be so analytical about everything. It came so out of the blue that I surprised myself when I didn’t even feel the need to analyse what had triggered it.

Since as far back as I can remember, I’ve been a thinker – a person who would analyse things – and would often be accused of over-analysing. Yet no-one had said to me, “Relax … just let it be …” All they would say was, “Stop analysing it,” and that would only incite me to analyse even more. You can see just how big I was on the whole analysing thing, eh? So when I had this shift in mindset during the course, I felt totally at ease without thinking about it. And it doesn’t matter that I don’t know where it’s come from. All I do know is that I’ve been attracting conversations ever since with people who’ve had the same experience. So I guess it’s happened for a reason – I just haven’t found what that is yet.

I’d just like to add that it’s made me feel ‘lighter’, perhaps even liberated, and that whatever it is I need to know comes to me at the right time. If I was to explain it, I’d say there may well be times in the future when I’ll need to think things through in more detail, but for the time being, I can ‘let it be.’ Off the top of my head, it’s like the feeling you get when something you want to say is on the tip of your tongue… then you forget all about it and suddenly it comes to you out of the blue, perhaps an hour later, a day later, or even a month later. Is it because we released attachment to forcing whatever it was we wanted to find out? Is it connected with the way our mind or consciousness works? Whatever it is, it’s working right now!

INQUIRY: Are you a thinker, or are you someone who prefers to let things work themselves out? How many profound experiences have you had based on this? Are you too changing the way you work things out?

Using Your Intuition

Throughout my life, my intuition has veered from one extreme to the other, rarely settling in the middle. Yet as a coach, we’re encouraged to experiment with it more and more, regardless of how unnatural or “off the mark” it appears. That’s all well and good, I thought, but surely you have to be careful (e.g. diplomatic), or else risk offending the other person. Either way, it didn’t really sit very comfortably with me.

Still, I determined to get to grips with it and kept blurting whatever came to mind. I wasn’t sure if I was experimenting with it, because by nature, I’m the sort of person who tends to speak their mind anyway – although this is definitely something I’ve reigned in of late. As was happening previously, my intuition were sometimes incredibly accurate, sometimes the total opposite. And it’s only been in the last few weeks that I can honestly say it’s ‘improving’, if that’s the right word. I think what’s happening is my intuition is feeding more and more on a diet of wisdom – where that’s coming from, I don’t yet know – but it’s certainly coming to the fore with better timing. To me, that currently feels neither right nor wrong – it’s just the way it is.

I’m also feeling my intuition working on the bigger picture … don’t know how to explain this, or what it means … not going to analyse it, just letting it be … will no doubt know more soon.

INQUIRY: How often do you call on your intuition? Do you use it only in the company of people you’re comfortable with, or are you happy blurting to anyone? How accurate is it?

ACTION: Check in with your intuition for the next seven days. Make a note of the impact it creates. Does anyone comment on it?

Let Go Of Attachment To Outcomes

I have to be honest and say I’m experimenting with this one, and because I’m currently no longer analysing things, I’m not yet sure where it’s leading me. All I do know is that I feel a lot “lighter, and less stressed. It’s a strange feeling, but one that feels right. In fact, it feels as though the attachment element was breeding worry and concern, and that by removing it, I’m placing trust and faith in the right outcome manifesting itself at the right time.It really is a strange feeling, and one that people I’ve been meeting of late are identifying with. Perhaps it’s a stepping stone to something.

On a personal note, I believe that by creating goals and determination driven with the right intentions, you’re more likely to release your attachment … have a think about this and list anything that comes to mind. How much has your perspective changed?

INQUIRY: List some goals and determinations (or whatever you prefer to call them), and ask yourself how attached you are to the outcome. Is it natural for you to attach yourself to the outcome? If so, look at the intentions behind one or two goals you want to achieve in the next few days … if those intentions are good, then have a go removing your attachment … just “let it be.” How does it feel?

What Books Are Influencing You Right Now?

It seems I'm addicted to buying books wherever I go at the moment. It's not like I need any more - I've got piles building up all over the place. And I definitely have phases where I can read all the time for a month or so, then not get round to picking anything up for another month. At the moment I'm reading the following:

* Boost Your Mind Power (Bill Lucas)
* Spiral Dynamics (Beck & Cowan)
* Human Values in a Changing World (Daisaku Ikeda & Bryan Wilson)

I'm taking a break from fiction which I guess means I'm back in "absorb" mode.

INQUIRY: How about you? I'm curious to hear what you're reading right now (or of late), and the impact it's having on you. Let's remove all boundaries and include books from all genres; fiction, non-fiction, biogs, etc.

Coming From The Heart

This is a topic I never would have approached in earnest a year ago, let alone at any other time in my life. Neither is it something that’s easy to share with just anyone – but I know it’s the right thing to be doing, so I’ll open it up with some questions and see what happens. I know that for those of you who connect with it, then great, and that for those of you who don’t, then that’s great too. This isn’t a lecture – it’s an observation shared.

INQUIRY: Ask yourself this one question: when you do or say something that comes from the heart, how does it make you feel? E.g. saying those three little words to your partner, taking care of your family, applying yourself to your work, etc.

Have a think about what all this means to you.

How much does it inspire you to develop and strengthen what you have?

ACTION: List all the words you associate with “coming from the heart.” What do the enable you to create and achieve? Make a list, then get out there and begin expressing them. If you feel uncomfortable, then push yourself just that little bit extra … see where it takes you, and what difference it makes.

Here are a few pointers: sincerity … honesty … trust … authenticity …

Fear Is The Gateway To Happiness

I heard someone mention this during the introduction to a training session recently, and I have to admit it landed really heavily with me. It was also exactly what I needed to hear, because I had been challenging my life more and more of late, and knew deep down that I had to continue doing so in order to expand my opportunities.

When given permission, fear can do so much to debilitate us. Yet when challenged and overcome, it can be banished for good, thus opening up all manner of avenues.

INQUIRY: Make a list of the things you fear in daily life and beyond. Think back over the last few days, perhaps even weeks … what obstacles and challenges have you had to overcome? And which have you chosen to shy away from?

ACTION: Now make a list of those you expect to face in the next few days. Right now, which are you likely to embrace as a challenge, and which are you likely to give in to?

Taking a look at both lists and ask yourself how much better your life would be if you were to conquer those fears. Be open and honest – you don’t have to share these with anyone. Just take a look at them by yourself. What steps could you take to conquer these fears?

The Benefits Of REALLY Listening

How many times have you been interrupted by someone before you’ve had the time to finish what you’re saying? Quite a few, I bet. How does it make you feel? Ignored … annoyed … perhaps even furious at times? And how many times do you do the same by return? Ah, now you see, the boot’s on the other foot!

So why do we do it? Probably a whole host of reasons; we’re impatient; we like the sound of our own voice; we’re not really interested in what the other person has to say; and that’s just to begin with. If all our conversations were like this, then how much good would come of them? Not a lot. So what’s the answer? How about listening for a change? And letting the other person finish? How do we do that? We forget about ourselves for a moment and really pay attention to the person who’s speaking – not just their words, but their meaning, their emotion, and where applicable, their body language.

INQUIRY: How often do you get annoyed by others who interrupt you as described above? And how often are you guilty of the same by return? What are you creating when you give someone the opportunity to speak fully.

ACTION: This week, pay special attention to your conversations. Call a halt to interrupting people when they’re speaking. Notice how it feels. In a polite and courteous way, encourage those who normally interrupt you to do the same. Again, notice how it feels.

Coincidences vs Synchronicity

Call it what you like, the subject of coincidences – otherwise referred to as synchronicity - is something most, if not all, of us have some connection with. Yet where do they come from? What causes them? What do they mean?

Thinking aloud, the first two questions may offer a clue. If something has to come from somewhere, then surely it’s origin is in the past. And if its origin is in the past, then surely something had to happen to cause it’s creation. That all sounds feasible enough … so how about combining the two: a coincidence is the result of a cause made in the past? Now, how does that sound? And perhaps more importantly, what do they mean?

Hmm, do we need an answer? Some of us do, some of us don’t. So what is it? How about this: a coincidence is the manifest effect of a cause we created in the past. In other words, we once did something to trigger this coincidence. And what if this cause was in alignment with something else in the universe, and as a result, became manifest in our lives at the time we needed it to? Now, it’s fair to say that not every coincidence has depth and meaning, but we can’t escape the fact that some do. Some are especially profound. Is that because they’re showing us something, perhaps a clue or a hint?

INQUIRY: What’s your perception of coincidence and synchronicity?

ACTION: For the next week, take a closer look at any such moments as they appear. Write them down. Now list what could have caused them, and what they might mean. Is there a pattern? Is there a connection?

What's This Mission All About?

It’s simple: to make a difference, and to help others make a difference too. This isn’t a crusade or mock spiritual journey - this is as real as night and day.

I see us having created a world that’s sinking more and more into decline. Who's to blame? Humanity - no-one else. For centuries we’ve been plundering so much that’s good in the world, and now it’s our turn to stand up and give something back. What happens if no-one stands up? We all fall down. It’s a simple as that. So, what can we do? For a start, let’s get back to basics: practising the fundamentals of humanism. Let’s tap inside each of us and discover respect for one another. Let’s have compassion and understanding, Let’s do our Human Revolution, and look at what each of us can do to create benefit and value in the lives of those around us; our families, our friends, our colleagues. Let’s look at the causes we’re making … are they good, or are they bad? Remember the adage, “What goes around, comes around …” well, that’s cause and effect, right?

Now, what if you’re in disagreement with this? That’s fine. Like I said once before, this isn’t a soapbox for preaching, it’s an open house for ideas, experiences, and realisations. So, if it doesn’t sit comfortably with you, then that’s okay … perhaps you’d like to have a look at the inquiry below, or forget what’s you’re reading here entirely. You choose. But for those of you who feel you have something to give, or are already on that path of giving, then I’d love to hear from you … in the meantime, I’ll hand you over to the inquiry!

INQUIRY: Where do you see yourself making a difference? What is it you have to offer? Is it something that’s been grinding away inside for years, or is something that’s appeared recently or only just now? What does it look like? What will it create?

ACTION: What can you do today to start making this happen?

Now go and do it ...

BBF

This week I had a meeting with Blue Balloon Foundation which turned into a genuinely fascinating encounter. I could even describe it as the most bizarre meeting I’ve ever had, whereby nobody in the room had an agenda whatsoever, yet we all agreed we were meant to be there, and that the effect of which would soon become apparent. It was evident that we each shared parallels in our respective journeys over the last few months and years, and that there was indeed a higher purpose for our being there. Yet once again I refer to the “no need for analysis … just let it be,” in that something good will come of this when the time is right. BTW, when I say “something good,” I mean something that will be of benefit and value to many more people. For more information on the BBF, check out their website BBF.

This meeting also led to an equally mind-boggling conversation with Juliet Platt from Treetops Coaching (and Wisdom of Children). Once again, there were huge parallels with the journeys we had both taken from our respective IT backgrounds, via coaching, and then into education. There isn’t the space to go into detail here, suffice to say it was hugely inspiring to hear of Juliet’s pioneering work alongside the BBF in helping children discover their inner wisdom and potential. More will become apparent very soon.

Rediscover Your Lost Identity

Someone explained the concept of this during a meeting a few days ago. She described how children were born with an identity that got lost as they took their place in society, and that she was helping them re-discover it. When she had finished, I explained to her how one of my coaching programmes is specifically called Discovery because it helps the client peel back the layers of scripting they’ve built up over the years, and discover their true inner self. She agreed they sounded like one and the same.

It was fascinating to hear how she believed babies were born “perfect”, because I’d never thought it necessary to think that far back into someone’s life. Yet now it makes sense, because the child will indeed grow up feeding off its environment, thus attracting layer upon layer of scripting – which is often more negative than positive. The bulk of these scripts are created by the relationships we have with our family, our peers, and as we get older – society. But by allowing ourselves to live within the confines of these scripts, we’re keeping our potential in check. And this is wrong, because by peeling them away, we find ways to challenge and overcome the obstacles in our life and expand our horizons.

INQUIRY: What do you think or feel is your potential? What does it look like? How does it feel? What would it help you achieve for yourself and others?

Gratitude Pt I

This is something I’ve again struggled with for years - taking too much (and too many people) for granted. Don’t get me wrong – it wasn’t a case of being dismissive of others and their support, not at all – it was more a case of not realising how “lucky” I was. I think more often than not I was grateful on the inside, but perhaps chose not to express it. Either way, my perception on this has totally transformed in the last year or so, and now I’m grateful for everything in my life. I even have gratitude for the challenges ahead, knowing that some will be easier to embrace than others, but knowing at the same time that each of them is an opportunity for growth.

Having discussed with various people the value of expressing gratitude, I’m aware of how much confusion – and sometimes distress – it causes. For some, it’s very difficult – illogical even - while for others it’s straightforward and easy. Think, for a moment, of how you feel toward your parents, your friends, your environment. Which of these sit uncomfortably, and which sit easily?

INQUIRY: Grab a piece of paper, and on one side list all the things you’re grateful for in your life. Now turn it over and list all the things you feel you should be grateful for. How much of a discrepancy is there?

ACTION: Have a look at these lists every day for a week, and express your gratitude for each and every thing on there. If you’d like to do it through prayer, then that’s great. If you’d like to do it through thought, then that too is great. Perhaps if there’s a particular person you feel gratitude toward, then how about finding a way to express; perhaps through one of the above or something more tangible like a phone call or email. Whatever you do, make a note of how it feels. And where is this gratitude coming from?